If Social Media Outlets were Real Places
Social media is here to stay. We’re willing to bet our reputation AND the contents of our childhood piggy bank on it (last time we checked, that was about $3.17 and a Canadian nickel). With that being said, what is social media? We know that social media represents a new way that people, consumers, and brands can connect. But what function does each particular outlet serve (besides bringing your productivity to somewhere between dismal and non-existent). We’ve decided to relate each social media outlet to a real life place, because it’s Wednesday, and we can’t wait for the weekend.
Hello, i’m the internet. Do you have a few minutes (hours) to spare?
Facebook - College Dorm Room
With the context of personalization, and enough incriminating evidence to get you locked up for 3-5 years, Facebook is just like a dorm room. College is a time of self-discovery and growth. What better way to accomplish that by hanging things up that best personify you? Are you a budding new-age holistic medicine enthusiast? Bob Marley poster. Do you have friends who you like? Group photo board. Are you a messy person? Half eaten bagel sandwich on the floor.
Facebook is like your college dorm room in that it is a casual way of showing your friends about you. With photos, notes, status updates, and interactions all in one place, a person could just stop into your “dorm room” to get a taste of your personality.
Twitter - Party
Quick, where is the best place to build deep, meaningful relationships? If you answered anywhere other than “a party”, than you’re on the right track. It’s not that a party isn’t a great place to meet people and network. But it’s hard to establish the context in which to build a lifelong foundation of friendship, when “Levels” is blaring directly into your ear. The only way that this could work is if you repeatedly bumped into the same person over the course of many parties. And that’s exactly what Twitter is.
Twitter is a series of quick interactions between users about any topic. Much like a party, you receive interesting snippets of people’s day to day grind. But given enough time and interaction, you begin to build a relationship with these users. You can get a sense of their personality traits and quirks (like melodramatic, reliable, or always-hungry-for-pancakes). After a while, you will start to decide who is worth following and who isn’t. However, there is a lot less drinking on Twitter… we hope.
Linkedin - Office
The workplace is just like college, just with less fun and a lot more secretaries. With a lot more at stake, your office must be professional and inspire confidence in your employer that you know what you’re doing (you don’t). An office should be presentable and representative of your skills and accomplishments. Gone are the pictures of your favorite TV shows and trophies to that sick 30 second keg stand you did that one time.
Replacing those are resumes, projects that you’ve worked on, and professional connections. Of course, like a real life office, Linkedin does offer some personalization options. You can add page widgets displaying your preferred reading lists, recommendations from peers, and companies that you find interesting. Leave the picture of your wife and kids at home.
Pinterest - Tupperware Party
Based on my personal research (10 minutes of web surfing), nothing gets the female social media audience riled up more than pictures of stuff. Whether it is recipes, homemade crafts, or gardens, these pictures are way popular amongst the female demographic. In real life, where can women gather to share and discuss things that interest them? A Tupperware party. Now these parties don’t have to be limited to Tupperware. It could be flower parties, DIY shell necklace parties, or giant-cakes-shaped-like-Disney-characters parties. But in spirit, they must be a comfortable gathering place in which hobbies are traded.
The biggest feature of Pinterest is the “re-pin”. This is taking something interesting from someone else, and displaying it on your profile for others to see. This form of proactive branding is especially effective because Pinterest is a community, just like the parties. Now, about that giant-Disney-character cake…
Google+ - Trendy Coffee Shop
What comes to your mind when you think of a trendy coffee shop? Is it a copious amount of berets and fedoras? Coffee at the price of a small island nation’s monthly GDP? How about snappy well-dressed regulars hunched over their mac books? Indie coffee shop patrons get a bad rap in the media, who often portray them as snide and self-absorbed. But this isn’t true so much as they’re just like, misunderstood dude. Like anyone who is on the cutting edge of popular culture, the indie coffee shop denizen is engaged in their newest toy of the week.
Google+ is like that new toy with more caffeine, but replace the cream with 2% reduced fat milk. Current users of Google+ are early-adopters. They’re getting acquainted with the technology and slowly mastering it. This is in anticipation of when G+ inevitably hits the mainstream, and outcries of “I was on G+ before it was popular.” We know you were.
Foursquare - Airport Terminal/span>
Foursquare, or Foursquizzle as some people call it (i.e. no one) is like the proverbial passport. And where does the passport get more play, besides maybe an underground black market for mail-order-brides? That’s right imaginary game show contestant; an airport. Your passport has a number of stamps in it detailing the locations you’ve visited in the world, expect for our secret agent readers. They are stamp free. You can also redeem rewards and special offers on Foursquare.
If you’re like me and enjoy showing your passport to random strangers at the airport, but wish that this could be accomplished from home, then Foursquare is for you. Now can we get a pillow and a blanket on this flight!?
Blog - Public Speaking
If you’re like 92.3% of other people, then you’re a terrible public speaker. We didn’t look that statistic up but I’m sure it exists somewhere. What is it about being in front of a crowd of people that makes most of us cower like a cow? Cows cower, right? A blog allows just about anyone to pour the contents of their soul out onto internet paper. This literature is then easily disseminated amongst anyone who is plugged into the E-verse.
Now, I admit I cheated a bit on this one. The internet provides a veil of anonymity to the blogger which the real world doesn’t. So to be fair, a blog is more like delivering a speech, with a giant anti-senisitivity wall protecting you from the swarm of faceless readers before you, many of whom are only reading so they can more effectively deliver their version of “ur stupid dude lolz.”
Instagram - Graffiti Wall
Yup, Instagram is like a graffiti wall.
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